Together we are vincible
Top Tips for New Dads Two
The first nappy change...
1. Build confidence in yourself by imagining scoring a diving header in injury time at Wembley Stadium on Cup Final day.
2. Prepare the room by removing any sharp objections and unneccesary distractions (eg porn stash).
3. Make sure no one else is present to witness your first attempt.
4. The exception to the above rule is your baby.
5. It's good to have a dry run so you practice throwing up before you start, that way baby won't be too startled when you actually vomit on the carpet.
6. Think of something pleasant - Agyness Deyn wriggling around on my lap with her tongue in my ear always works for me.
7. Start as you mean to go on.
8. Ask your better-half for help.
9. Pretend to faint.
10. Wake up when the 'job' is done.
1. Build confidence in yourself by imagining scoring a diving header in injury time at Wembley Stadium on Cup Final day.
2. Prepare the room by removing any sharp objections and unneccesary distractions (eg porn stash).
3. Make sure no one else is present to witness your first attempt.
4. The exception to the above rule is your baby.
5. It's good to have a dry run so you practice throwing up before you start, that way baby won't be too startled when you actually vomit on the carpet.
6. Think of something pleasant - Agyness Deyn wriggling around on my lap with her tongue in my ear always works for me.
7. Start as you mean to go on.
8. Ask your better-half for help.
9. Pretend to faint.
10. Wake up when the 'job' is done.
Add a Comment
© 2009 Created by Ted on Ning. Create Your Own Social Network
You need to be a member of Dad Club to add comments!
Join this social network