Together we are vincible
Top Tips for New Dads
When first bringing baby home...
1. Leave home. Immediately.
2. Walk once around the block.
3. Calm yourself by breathing slowly and deeply.
4. Start chanting, preferably under your breath so you don't get sectioned... Probably something gentle.
5. Return home.
6. Give your wife/partner a big manly hug.
7. If she strikes you, take it on the chin. Don't hit back.
8. Take your new born son/daughter in your arms.
9. Look into their squinty, shrivelled-up eyes. You can see yourself can't you? You realise that the world will undoubtedly be a better, happier, shinier place with a small version of you frolicking with gay abandon on the shag-pile carpet.
10. If you can't see yourself, leave. Immediately.
1. Leave home. Immediately.
2. Walk once around the block.
3. Calm yourself by breathing slowly and deeply.
4. Start chanting, preferably under your breath so you don't get sectioned... Probably something gentle.
5. Return home.
6. Give your wife/partner a big manly hug.
7. If she strikes you, take it on the chin. Don't hit back.
8. Take your new born son/daughter in your arms.
9. Look into their squinty, shrivelled-up eyes. You can see yourself can't you? You realise that the world will undoubtedly be a better, happier, shinier place with a small version of you frolicking with gay abandon on the shag-pile carpet.
10. If you can't see yourself, leave. Immediately.
Add a Comment
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Comment by Andy on June 7, 2009 at 9:47am -
Your comment has prompted a thought Nick -
Great Tits... if only I'd known them 14 years ago...
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Comment by Nick Bowman on June 1, 2009 at 12:39pm - Great tips...if only you'd posted it 14 years ago
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