Together we are vincible
Real Dilemma
So, yesterday I was in Madrid for a meeting. It turned out that I was just over the road from the Bernabeu and the guy I was meeting took me over for a coffee in the restaurant that looks out onto the pitch. It's much the same as Loftus Road really, except it seats 100,000 more people. And they play better footy.
Anyway, that evening I'm at the airport facing the classic business-trip dilemma – presents for the kids. To buy, or not to buy? That is the question. I mean, it was a short trip (in and out in day) and I don't want to set a precedent that means every time I go beyond the borders of Shepherd's Bush they expect me to shell out on them. On the other hand, one of the great joys of being a dad is the certain knowledge that buying their love is easier than earning it. What price a smiley face?
Then it occurred to me. The Boy goes to football training at QPR every Saturday – how better to assert his superior talent (he's three) than have him turn up in a Real Madrid kit? Actually, there's another kid there who turns up every week in a Barcelona get-up. His dad looks a bit Spanish too, so the prospect of some parental rivalry on the sidelines just served to make my mind up even more. So off to the shop I go, only to discover that a replica kit costs 72 Euros! 72 Euros! For a three-year-old. Like, er, no thanks.
It's not just the 72 Euros for The Boy of course. It would also have meant spending 72 Euro on The Girl. I'm a great believer in fairness you see. And then, when you get to that level of spending, I have to take The Missus into account. When she gets wind of the fact that I've spent 150 Euro on the kids (can't hide anything from her) she's going to stop seeing it as a little gesture and start seeing it as a major gifting occasion and if I haven't spent 150 Euro on her (two kids equals one missus) then I'm in the dog house for months for sure.
So, my buy or not buy dilemma has become a 300 Euro decision. And there's only one answer to that. Not buy.
Except then, I then found a bag shaped like a dragon that was full of Chupa Chups. And, with my kids, the only thing more loved than Chupa Chups is Santa. And when they both find out he's me, there won't be anything more loved than Chupa Chups. So, for a mere 8 Euro, I snapped them up. With a smug sense of satisfaction I went to the airline lounge and enjoyed a beer (and another). When I got off the plane I felt guilty I hadn't got anything for The Missus so I went into those Duty Free bits they have just as you come out of customs (handy) and got a box of Irish chocs for St. Patrick's Day. What a good dad I am.
At 10.30pm, wearied by my travels, I got home. The Missus was still up, the kids not. I gave her the chocs. "What's that?" she asked, pointing at the bag with the kids present in. "I hope you haven't bought them sweets again."
I wish I'd bought the Real kit.
Anyway, that evening I'm at the airport facing the classic business-trip dilemma – presents for the kids. To buy, or not to buy? That is the question. I mean, it was a short trip (in and out in day) and I don't want to set a precedent that means every time I go beyond the borders of Shepherd's Bush they expect me to shell out on them. On the other hand, one of the great joys of being a dad is the certain knowledge that buying their love is easier than earning it. What price a smiley face?
Then it occurred to me. The Boy goes to football training at QPR every Saturday – how better to assert his superior talent (he's three) than have him turn up in a Real Madrid kit? Actually, there's another kid there who turns up every week in a Barcelona get-up. His dad looks a bit Spanish too, so the prospect of some parental rivalry on the sidelines just served to make my mind up even more. So off to the shop I go, only to discover that a replica kit costs 72 Euros! 72 Euros! For a three-year-old. Like, er, no thanks.
It's not just the 72 Euros for The Boy of course. It would also have meant spending 72 Euro on The Girl. I'm a great believer in fairness you see. And then, when you get to that level of spending, I have to take The Missus into account. When she gets wind of the fact that I've spent 150 Euro on the kids (can't hide anything from her) she's going to stop seeing it as a little gesture and start seeing it as a major gifting occasion and if I haven't spent 150 Euro on her (two kids equals one missus) then I'm in the dog house for months for sure.
So, my buy or not buy dilemma has become a 300 Euro decision. And there's only one answer to that. Not buy.
Except then, I then found a bag shaped like a dragon that was full of Chupa Chups. And, with my kids, the only thing more loved than Chupa Chups is Santa. And when they both find out he's me, there won't be anything more loved than Chupa Chups. So, for a mere 8 Euro, I snapped them up. With a smug sense of satisfaction I went to the airline lounge and enjoyed a beer (and another). When I got off the plane I felt guilty I hadn't got anything for The Missus so I went into those Duty Free bits they have just as you come out of customs (handy) and got a box of Irish chocs for St. Patrick's Day. What a good dad I am.
At 10.30pm, wearied by my travels, I got home. The Missus was still up, the kids not. I gave her the chocs. "What's that?" she asked, pointing at the bag with the kids present in. "I hope you haven't bought them sweets again."
I wish I'd bought the Real kit.
Add a Comment
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Comment by Robert Mahon on June 11, 2009 at 9:14pm - jim i feel your pain! with 2 girls i've no chance of ever buying real madrid tops. my good lady thought she was being generous in letting me buy the wee one a bib with my team's logo on it!
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Comment by Nick Bowman on April 9, 2009 at 1:14pm - a fathers place is always in the wrong
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Comment by Ben Millar on March 19, 2009 at 10:37pm - I nipped in to the Chelsea shop post match on Sunday to get a chav Chelsea FC pink baby grow, just for comedy Vicky Pollard style purposes, of course. Under a tenner! Still didn't bother though.
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Comment by Richard Weston on March 19, 2009 at 11:49am - We find Gogos are the perfect non-confectionary/low-cost 3-6 years old child pleaser. Estimate "outlay:effect factor" to be around 1:10.
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Comment by Andy on March 18, 2009 at 9:37pm - I bet Eagle made his kids something useful out of the sick-bag and wrote a poem to his mrs - the gayboy!
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