I Say, He Say

[Andy]

2003. Monday Morning.

I Say:
I'm running late for work. Charlie's not dressed yet and not bothered. I ask nicely. Three times. I lose patience, grab his clothes and chase him round the room. This is great fun - for him. The clock is ticking. He's not dressed.
I'm going to be late and I have a meeting first thing.

Bollocks.

I chase him 'round and around. It's actually quite funny for a while but eventually I lose patience and rugby tackle him to the ground.

I pin him down and snarl -

'Look, Charlie.
If you don't get dressed, I'll be late dropping you off at nursery.
And, if we're late dropping you off at nursery, I'll miss my train.
I need to get the train to get to London so I can get to work.
And, if I miss my train, I'll be late for work.
And, if I'm late for work, I'll lose my job.
And, if I lose my job, we won't have any money.
And, if we don't have any money, we won't have any food.
And, if we don't have any food, you'll be very hungry.
And, if you're very hungry, you won't be happy, in fact you'll cry.'

He let's me get him dressed. I go to work.

He Say:
'Daddy goes on the train to London every day to buy potatoes...'