Blogs - Dad Club

Love is...

...applying Sudacrem to your six year olds itchy sphincter at 5.30 in the morning ( !? ) Continue

Added by Richard Weston on July 4, 2009 at 6:30am — 1 Comment

Sometimes I think our oldest boy (aged 6) has developed some rare and little known strain of Tourette's. The main characteristic of this particular version of the condition being the uncontrollable and compulsive urge to play fight. No matter where we are or who we're with, he can spontaneously play fight (with himself, I must point out). If we're at home and aren't sure where he is, one glance out of the window and there he is, in the garden, battling. On the allotment...battling. At church...b… Continue

Added by Richard Weston on June 17, 2009 at 9:05am — 1 Comment

Punk's Not Dad

This is a great video for all you former punk Dads with sheds. http://www.boingboing.net/2009/06/16/video-for-punk-shed.html Continue

Added by Mike Reed on June 16, 2009 at 11:48am — 1 Comment

Top Tips for New Dads

When first bringing baby home... 1. Leave home. Immediately. 2. Walk once around the block. 3. Calm yourself by breathing slowly and deeply. 4. Start chanting, preferably under your breath so you don't get sectioned... Probably something gentle. 5. Return home. 6. Give your wife/partner a big manly hug. 7. If she strikes you, take it on the chin. Don't hit back. 8. Take your new born son/daughter in your arms. 9. Look into their squinty, shrivelled-up eyes. You can see yourself can't you… Continue

Added by Ted on May 31, 2009 at 10:14pm — 2 Comments

Top Tips for New Dads Two

The first nappy change... 1. Build confidence in yourself by imagining scoring a diving header in injury time at Wembley Stadium on Cup Final day. 2. Prepare the room by removing any sharp objections and unneccesary distractions (eg porn stash). 3. Make sure no one else is present to witness your first attempt. 4. The exception to the above rule is your baby. 5. It's good to have a dry run so you practice throwing up before you start, that way baby won't be too startled when you actually… Continue

Added by Ted on May 31, 2009 at 10:00pm — No Comments

Good Dad, Bad Dad

Man sought prostitute for son, 14 I think I shouldn't, but I did laugh. Isn't this what they used to do in the good old days? Continue

Added by Nick Bowman on May 15, 2009 at 3:20pm — 1 Comment

Forget Twitter, Get Bitter

What are you drinking? (140 characters or less) Dodgy lager in 'The Queens Head', Kingston, with John from next door - remember to avoid pubs employing bad punctuation in future... Continue

Added by Andy on May 4, 2009 at 9:29am — 6 Comments

Banished

After four days of hell with a marauding teenager, I'm grateful to return to work on Tuesday...safe in the knowldege that it'll be a difficult week, but there's only four days for the bastards to grind me down. To gain some respite from teenage angst and anger, I've decided to banish him to the Welsh princedom to celebrate granny's 80th. So a few days to navel gaze, Hopefully that's not bad of me, but I deserve a holiday Continue

Added by Nick Bowman on April 13, 2009 at 8:59pm — No Comments

True Confessions: ABBA

We're in the car, heading West to Exminster to stay with family and we're listening to ABBA Gold - Millie's choice. I moan at first, but soon find myself humming along, and, by the time we get to 'Mamma Mia', I'm singing along too - the whole family - all four of us: 'Mamma Mia, Here I go again, My my, Did I ever you let you go?' Despite myself, I'm having FUN... I turn to Hazel and say: 'You know what darling, they really did craft some perfect pop songs didn't they?' At this point I check… Continue

Added by Andy on April 11, 2009 at 8:00am — 5 Comments

Bad Parenting #01

OK, it's precisely 23.04; we're ready for bed but have just realised we've nothing in for Noah's lunch tomorrow (he takes packed lunch Tuesday to Thursday and the cupboard is well and truly bare). Would he take a buttered white bread roll and a packet of crisps I wonder? ...I'll dress it up as a treat! Continue

Added by Richard Weston on March 24, 2009 at 11:10pm — 1 Comment

Real Dilemma

So, yesterday I was in Madrid for a meeting. It turned out that I was just over the road from the Bernabeu and the guy I was meeting took me over for a coffee in the restaurant that looks out onto the pitch. It's much the same as Loftus Road really, except it seats 100,000 more people. And they play better footy. Anyway, that evening I'm at the airport facing the classic business-trip dilemma – presents for the kids. To buy, or not to buy? That is the question. I mean, it was a short trip (in a… Continue

Added by Jim on March 18, 2009 at 6:46pm — 5 Comments

Fat Kid

We have a dilemma: It's Noah's birthday in a couple of weeks and we're organising his party: a Doctor Who party. I've knocked together invites and Noah addressed them all yesterday. He was very focussed and industrious. Only problem is, he doesn't want to invite one boy from his class. Just one. At first, we thought he was one of a few; Noah said there were others, but he couldn't name any and on further interrogation we ascertained the truth: it was just one. The fat kid. Now Noah isn't weight… Continue

Added by Richard Weston on March 18, 2009 at 10:17am — 1 Comment

Shit

[New here, so don't know if this is appropriate but I'm taking Dad Club's discovery as a timely and meaningful opportunity to get this off my chest]. First born, Noah (6), had his mate (let's just call him "P") over yesterday for a play date. They had a ball apparently and Karen said it was great because they were happily playing away so she didn't have to watch them all the time. Trouble was P was having such a good time he ignored an inner urge and just, well (there's no easy way to pu… Continue

Added by Richard Weston on March 12, 2009 at 11:55am — 5 Comments

I Say, He Say

2003. Monday Morning. I Say: I'm running late for work. Charlie's not dressed yet and not bothered. I ask nicely. Three times. I lose patience, grab his clothes and chase him round the room. This is great fun - for him. The clock is ticking. He's not dressed. I'm going to be late and I have a meeting first thing. Bollocks. I chase him 'round and around. It's actually quite funny for a while but eventually I lose patience and rugby tackle him to the ground. I pin him down and snarl -… Continue

Added by Andy on March 11, 2009 at 9:52pm — No Comments

The Financial Crisis

The financial crisis explained in simple terms: Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin. In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans). Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood Into Heidi's bar. Taking advantage of her customers' freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi i… Continue

Added by PetrolHeadDad on March 5, 2009 at 1:10pm — 1 Comment

Dad again

Meredith Lily Hughes arrived eventually at 3.55pm yesterday. 7lb 13oz. Pink as Peppa Pig.

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Added by David Hughes on February 25, 2009 at 10:04am — 2 Comments

Just as we're starting to get used to a lie-in

Teddy has thankfully started sleeping until after 7am. It's almost sad to think of this as lie-in. But it's even sadder to think that this little bit of luxury is going to be short lived. Meredith is due to make her entrance into the world in the next two weeks and that'll put paid to lounging around in bed until 7am for another two and a half years. Just thinking about it is enough to make me bleary-eyed. Continue

Added by David Hughes on February 15, 2009 at 11:04am — 3 Comments

Read the glove competition

Can anyone read what it says on Andys glove? First one to post the answer wins the gloves, if they want them.

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Added by Richard Bloom on February 6, 2009 at 11:21am — 2 Comments

New CBBC Fun Kids Show

FAMILIES WANTED FOR BRAND NEW CBBC SHOW ARE YOU READY TO TAKE THE MEGA NANNY CHALLENGE? Could your family survive a weekend with Britain’s most amazing Nanny? In each show Mega Nanny comes to your home for a weekend you and you kids will never forget! If you have 2 or more children aged between 5-12 and think they have what it takes to get through her super challenging super cool weekend of mayhem and fun, then get in touch now. E ◊ megananny@tigeraspect.co.uk T ◊ 0207 529 9545 A ◊ Mega Nann… Continue

Added by Lucy Gosling on February 3, 2009 at 5:00pm — 1 Comment

I Say, She Say

I Say: Millie don't pick your nose. She Say: But Daddy, it's a grown-up thing to do. I Say: Why do you think it's a grown-up thing? She Say: Because you do it Daddy - all the time... Continue

Added by Andy on January 29, 2009 at 2:03pm — No Comments

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